Pre-Second Year Woes

The excitement of starting second year is beginning to really wear thin. 

After taking my first year exams, the results were in. I woke up that morning and reflected on my performance at university in general:

I looked back and I remember feeling so bad, so worried about whether I'd even passed or the thought of having to resit an exam and ruin my holidays. The run up to my exams wasn't very good, in the sense that I'd left it very late and I didn't have much time to go over the content to do as well as I could've. I painfully recall the few weeks running up to each exam and how they felt the hardest; it was the panic of working my way through the handouts again and again until I felt somewhat confident in memorizing and understanding the material. There was even a point I considered eliminating handouts which seemed difficult, just to feel I'd lighten the workload. I thought myself, why hadn't I gone over this earlier? Why had I been so stupid? I had hardly left the house in those two months and when I came back to university to sit my exams, my friends commented on how much weight I had lost. I remember forgetting to eat at some points, and I remember crying every day at how scared I was I might fail. It was also a time I opened up to my mum, which is not something I normally and naturally do, but have learned I should do more often. 

I sat my exams and I got through them - but just. Alhamdulillah! Alhamdulillah! The utter happiness I felt when it was over, I walked out of that Physical Biochemistry exam and felt absolutely elated. I knew I did my best, I knew that whatever I got, I'd be happy because I knew I gave it 110%. It felt indescribable, I remember calling my best friend, and telling them I'd finished, I remember it was one of the first things I did. Do you remember? I counted my blessings. My best friend was there throughout it all, to listen to every phone call without fail when I was studying, when they should have been studying. I taught them genetics in order to teach myself and without fail they went over my 500 flashcards every night. And that person was still there to pick up the phone when it was all over. I am eternally grateful to that person! Alhamdulillah for people like that in our lives, they're absolutely wonderful and such blessings. 

And so, around 20 days after my last exam, I headed up to my Tutor's Office and waited outside the door. I remember him calling me in, and sitting me down. It was a very short talk, but how I liked it. All I wanted to know was how I had done: a grade, a number, a percentage, anything. A 2:1, 67.5%, he said to me. Alhamdulillah. I remember thinking how had I have done so well? It was a high 2:1, only 2.5% short of a first class. I took a deep breath and I sighed, thanking him. I left university so incredibly happy and humbled that day.

After my results, the unwinding began to kick in. I became lazy and I did nothing, but at the same time I did everything. Everything non-university related. I immersed myself in work outside university, in friendships, in going places and eating. And it's led me to this now.. the point where I've enjoyed it so, so much that I'm afraid to go back. A month ago, I felt excited to go back - well, the thought of going back (probably because it was a month away). But now that the new semester starts next week (possibly, I still don't have a timetable, eek!) I'm not looking forward to it. I'm scared of letting go of all the fun I had and dipping a toe back into that vicious cycle again. 

Student Plannerisms

Anyone who knows me personally knows I love stationery, particularly good looking products! And with a new university year around the corner, I figured some new stationery was in order - and I was especially on the hunt for a new planner. 

With its striking yet intricate cover, I had to pick up this beauty! It's the Silver Filigree Paperblanks 2015 diary in Blush Pink, priced at £16 in Waterstones. With a week to view, two silk bookmarks and a memento pouch at the back, it's definitely got a luxurious feel to it and is the perfect companion for my studies!

Please sit with me and relish at the pattern on the front. Okay, thanks, and bye!

Lots of love!

Summer Holidays

So since it's been the holidays, I've taken up a lot of overtime at work and worked double what I normally do during term-time. I work in a store on pretty much minimum wage and have been there since last year. It's been great to get a bigger chunk of finance coming in than the usual every month during the summer though! But today is a day where I've got no work, and will just do absolutely nothing and not feel guilty about it - except make a start to blog!

Technically, I have also got a second job. Recruited by my university, I'm an E-mentor to seven lovely A-Level students via the Realizing Opportunities scheme. Every week - since February of this year - I spend a couple of hours sending e-mails back and forth, offering advice and help with their university applications.. At the moment, I'm working with them on their personal statements and it's honestly been lovely reading about their enthusiasm.. I enjoy supporting them and forging long-term professional relationships with them. So much so, I love, love, love it and will definitely carry it on next year with some new fresh faces! 

During the summer I've also been keeping up with my volunteering on Saturdays. For two hours, I pop down to my local Hospital as a ward host. Every week I'm there, it's just so different; some days I can be making tea for the parents, or tidying up the play room. Last week, I was ordering the meals for the Sunday lunch/supper and later on I spent an hour colouring with a little patient's sister. Every week since January it's been a new collection of patients, of families and conditions. I also understand that because I'm working with children, it's a different dynamic as to working with older patients - which is why I'd love to secure a second placement possibly at my university hospital trust which'll offer something else! 

At the moment, really all I'm doing is try to secure that second volunteering placement.

Lots of love!

That First Post

I'll be working in the same libraries, sitting in the same lecture halls and reading some of the same textbooks. Medical Biochemistry is a discipline in its own right, but I can't help and think that I'm close ...just not yet close enough.

Last year, on August the 15th 2013, I was first in a line of many, waiting patiently at 7:45am at my college. I had a calculator in one hand and a folder of my UCAS papers and old certificates in the other. The countdown on my calendar wasn't helping, nor was the fact I hadn't slept or ate the day before. Sound familiar? Of course, I'm talking about those long-awaited A-Level results which for me, hard work finally translated as AAB. Fortunately, that meant I started university in the winter which I was incredibly excited about. I felt humbled because although I was rejected for Medicine in my UCAS application, the hidden blessing is very much that I am studying Medical Biochemistry!

Fast forward a year, and I am now just starting my second year of university, and I am excited! Reflecting back, I believe I simply didn't feel confident in applying for medicine, which admissions had picked up in my could-do-better-but-good-effort application. Despite this, through a little bit more experience, skills and time - which Biochemistry offers in buckets - maybe can I think about a career as a doctor a realistic goal.

And before I forget, I'd like to give you the warmest welcome to my blog! I am a terrible writer so please bear with me. I know it'll take a few posts before anything is worth reading, but good writing comes through perseverance, right? Well great, because I hope this is a long-term project, meaning I will have (and need) a lot of time to perfect it.

I'm very interested to see how the next few years pan out.
Lots of love!