Second Year Results..

At 11 am I went into my tutors office today, not knowing that I was the last person in our group to collect their results. The conversations between my tutor and I are always succinct and to the point. Today really wasn't any different. I asked him how he was, and how his day had been. I then sat down in a chair opposite him, a desk in between us, and I took a deep breath.

He opened up the window on his computer. Asked me to confirm my student number, he duly typed it into the keyboard. There was a brief pause, and in his thick indian accent he said "Okay.. "

"For your second year, you received the result of seventy-.." HOLD UP. WAIT A SECOND!

In my head I'd already zoned out: I heard "seventy" something. My mind and heart was consumed with relief at this point! I didn't care if it was 70% or 79.9%, but I had a First Class result for my second year!

"-one point nine percent.."

71.9%! I thanked him and after some formalities and jotting down my individual module scores, I left the office and headed downstairs. My friends were there waiting, and they asked how I did, and I told them all my results. For that entire day, I was a happy girl! A great return for a hard investment.

Best of luck with everyone else and their results - my prayers are with you!

Don't Give Up

Hi everyone!

Semester two began last week, and so far I'm feeling pretty settled back into university life. Next week has a very busy schedule with two deadlines coming up but I feel somewhat calm and collected, in knowing everything will be fine. I remember how last year's assignments and practicals used to throw me but a lot of it was very much in the mind, if that makes sense? Last year, I was scared because it was the unknown and I didn't really know what was expected of me. But now I do and it feels good! Ironed out all of those creases in first year. Ironing. Sigh, I'm looking at all the clothes on my floor that need washing, forget ironing. 

I think it's definitely reflecting in my university performance as well. I mean, Alhamdullilah so far, every single assignment I've handed in has been over 70% (yes!), and that makes me feel so happy. It's not just the itsy bitsy practicals worth 10% either. Just before the Christmas holidays began my Molecular Biology & Applications module came to an end, and we were examined in a Data Handling Test which was worth 33%. I remember coming out of that exam feeling confident it went well and my work had paid off. And it did! 85% I achieved and when I found out it absolutely made my day, heck, my week. It meant I only had to achieve 63% in the second exam for that module to get a First.. I sat that exam last week, and hopefully, it'll be good news when the results come out. I'll let you all know as soon as I get my mark!

My message is, for all those second (or third, etc) year university students out there who like me, felt they could have done better the year before, is don't give up. Everyone comes into university with an idea of succeeding and doing incredibly well, and very often it's not always how we imagined it to be. The experience you take away from your first year, and the lessons you learn however are valuable in themselves and should drive you to make amends and improve. It does get better, but only if you keep trying! 

How's your university experience going?
Lots of love.

Pre-Second Year Woes

The excitement of starting second year is beginning to really wear thin. 

After taking my first year exams, the results were in. I woke up that morning and reflected on my performance at university in general:

I looked back and I remember feeling so bad, so worried about whether I'd even passed or the thought of having to resit an exam and ruin my holidays. The run up to my exams wasn't very good, in the sense that I'd left it very late and I didn't have much time to go over the content to do as well as I could've. I painfully recall the few weeks running up to each exam and how they felt the hardest; it was the panic of working my way through the handouts again and again until I felt somewhat confident in memorizing and understanding the material. There was even a point I considered eliminating handouts which seemed difficult, just to feel I'd lighten the workload. I thought myself, why hadn't I gone over this earlier? Why had I been so stupid? I had hardly left the house in those two months and when I came back to university to sit my exams, my friends commented on how much weight I had lost. I remember forgetting to eat at some points, and I remember crying every day at how scared I was I might fail. It was also a time I opened up to my mum, which is not something I normally and naturally do, but have learned I should do more often. 

I sat my exams and I got through them - but just. Alhamdulillah! Alhamdulillah! The utter happiness I felt when it was over, I walked out of that Physical Biochemistry exam and felt absolutely elated. I knew I did my best, I knew that whatever I got, I'd be happy because I knew I gave it 110%. It felt indescribable, I remember calling my best friend, and telling them I'd finished, I remember it was one of the first things I did. Do you remember? I counted my blessings. My best friend was there throughout it all, to listen to every phone call without fail when I was studying, when they should have been studying. I taught them genetics in order to teach myself and without fail they went over my 500 flashcards every night. And that person was still there to pick up the phone when it was all over. I am eternally grateful to that person! Alhamdulillah for people like that in our lives, they're absolutely wonderful and such blessings. 

And so, around 20 days after my last exam, I headed up to my Tutor's Office and waited outside the door. I remember him calling me in, and sitting me down. It was a very short talk, but how I liked it. All I wanted to know was how I had done: a grade, a number, a percentage, anything. A 2:1, 67.5%, he said to me. Alhamdulillah. I remember thinking how had I have done so well? It was a high 2:1, only 2.5% short of a first class. I took a deep breath and I sighed, thanking him. I left university so incredibly happy and humbled that day.

After my results, the unwinding began to kick in. I became lazy and I did nothing, but at the same time I did everything. Everything non-university related. I immersed myself in work outside university, in friendships, in going places and eating. And it's led me to this now.. the point where I've enjoyed it so, so much that I'm afraid to go back. A month ago, I felt excited to go back - well, the thought of going back (probably because it was a month away). But now that the new semester starts next week (possibly, I still don't have a timetable, eek!) I'm not looking forward to it. I'm scared of letting go of all the fun I had and dipping a toe back into that vicious cycle again. 

That First Post

I'll be working in the same libraries, sitting in the same lecture halls and reading some of the same textbooks. Medical Biochemistry is a discipline in its own right, but I can't help and think that I'm close ...just not yet close enough.

Last year, on August the 15th 2013, I was first in a line of many, waiting patiently at 7:45am at my college. I had a calculator in one hand and a folder of my UCAS papers and old certificates in the other. The countdown on my calendar wasn't helping, nor was the fact I hadn't slept or ate the day before. Sound familiar? Of course, I'm talking about those long-awaited A-Level results which for me, hard work finally translated as AAB. Fortunately, that meant I started university in the winter which I was incredibly excited about. I felt humbled because although I was rejected for Medicine in my UCAS application, the hidden blessing is very much that I am studying Medical Biochemistry!

Fast forward a year, and I am now just starting my second year of university, and I am excited! Reflecting back, I believe I simply didn't feel confident in applying for medicine, which admissions had picked up in my could-do-better-but-good-effort application. Despite this, through a little bit more experience, skills and time - which Biochemistry offers in buckets - maybe can I think about a career as a doctor a realistic goal.

And before I forget, I'd like to give you the warmest welcome to my blog! I am a terrible writer so please bear with me. I know it'll take a few posts before anything is worth reading, but good writing comes through perseverance, right? Well great, because I hope this is a long-term project, meaning I will have (and need) a lot of time to perfect it.

I'm very interested to see how the next few years pan out.
Lots of love!